Hey kids. Brian Gallagher here with a look at all the news that wasn't fit to print over the past seven days. We've got a lot to get through this week so lets get started with a brand new Hollywood feud that's heating up between James Cameron and Piranha 3D producer Mark Canton.

James Cameron vs. Mark Canton - via Vanity Fair and The Weinstein Company

Besides his knack for making movies that shatter box office records, I love James Cameron because he never pulls any punches. He's one of the few guys in Hollywood that will really tell you how he feels about any given subject and he doesn't care what anybody thinks about his statements. Being the 3D maven that he is, James Cameron said in a recent interview in Vanity Fair that Piranha 3D was, "exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D," and that the movie, " just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3-D horror films from the 70s and 80s." Apparantly, Piranha 3D producer Mark Canton didn't take kindly to those remarks and shot back with some vitriol of his own in a letter that was sent to MovieWeb and numerous other press outlets. Here's an excerpt from that letter:

"As a producer in the entertainment industry, Jim Cameron's comments on VanityFair.com are very disappointing to me and the team that made Piranha 3D. Mr. Cameron, who singles himself out to be a visionary of movie-making, seems to have a small vision regarding any motion pictures that are not his own.  It is amazing that in the movie-making process - which is certainly a team sport - that Cameron consistently celebrates himself out as though he is a team of one.  His comments are ridiculous, self-serving and insulting to those of us who are not caught up in serving his ego and his rhetoric."

Oh snap! Canton goes on to say that he believes Cameron hasn't even seen Piranha 3D and chided him for ripping on the film without even seeing it first. He also even throws some jabs at Avatar's 3D:

" Let's just keep this in mind Jim....you did not invent 3D. You were fortunate that others inspired you to take it further. The simple truth is that I had nothing but good things to say about Avatar and my own experience since I actually saw it and didn't damn someone else's talent publicly in order to disassociate myself from my origins in the business from which we are all very fortunate. To be honest, I found the 3D in Avatar to be inconsistent and while ground breaking in many respects, sometimes I thought it overwhelmed the storytelling.  Technology aside, I wish Avatar had been more original in its storytelling."

Double-oh-snap! The letter was sent out on Tuesday and, as far as I know, Cameron hasn't responded as of yet... but I sure hope he does, if for nothing else, to continue the tradition of including at least one Piranha 3D story in The Sunday Funnies.

Hilarious Geek Movie Chart - via Cracked

I've been rather intrigued, these past few years, by movies that get incredibly hyped at Comic-Con and yet still falter at the box office, with the most recent example being Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, which, as of today, has only made $28 million and some change at the box office after four weeks in release. The folks at Cracked have noticed this trend as well and have produced a hilarious little chart which hammers this point home. Take a look below:

While this is pretty damn funny, I don't think this illustrates how or why Hollywood can't give geeks the movies they really want, but really that the "geek" movement might not be as powerful as once thought. With the exception of District 9, all of the movies that have been highly touted at Comic-Con in the last three years have gone on to either fail or drastically underperform at the box office. Food for thought, people...

Taylor Lautner Lawsuit Defendant Challenges Him to Pushup Contest; Loses the Lawsuit Days Later - via Associated Press and Us Magazine

In last week's Sunday Funnies column, I told you about teen heartthrob Taylor Lautner filing a lawsuit against a California RV company for not delivering his pimped-out trailer in time for him to chillax in it on the set of Abduction. It seems Brent McMahon, the owner of McMahon's RV, the defendant of the lawsuit, tried to squash this crazy lawsuit in an unconventional way: he challenged Taylor Lautner to a push-up contest. You just can't make this stuff up, people. Apparently McMahon was confident in his case, as he said he would "vigorously defend" the case in court if Taylor Lautner didn't accept the challenge. It was said that the push-up contest was a "facetious suggestion," but it seemed to only piss of Taylor Lautner and his lawyers even further. Here's an excerpt from a statement by the actor's lawyer:

"McMahon RV's response to our client's legitimate claim further demonstrates the lack of professionalism that Mr. McMahon, his company and his employees have exhibited from the outset, and that compelled the filing of this lawsuit in the first place."

Apparently, though, Taylor Lautner didn't turn out to be a diva after all. Us Magazine reported on Friday that the case had been settled, with Taylor Lautner receiving a $40,000 settlement, which the actor was donating to The Lollipop Theater Network, a non-profit organization that brings current theatrical movies to terminally ill children who can't get out of the hospital to see the movies in theaters. It was also said that there was really no "emotional distress" over the RV and it wasn't about money, but to hold this apparently-shoddy business accountable for their wrong-doings. Here's a statement that was released to the site:

"This was never a suit about money. It was to hold someone accountable," the insider says. "Taylor never ordered a customized RV -- it was a used RV which needed simple safety-related repairs. There was never any diva behavior. 'Emotional distress' is an automatic checked box on a fraudulent claim."

Dammit. I so wanted Taylor Lautner to be a bitchy diva here. He's only 18 though, so there is plenty of time for that to happen... Seriously though, kudos to Taylor Lautner for his win and donating the cash to a worthy charity.

The Celebs Who Turned Down a Chance To Be Dancing with the Stars - via The Live Feed

On Monday, we reported the new cast members for the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars, an incredibly random selection of celebs and pseudo-celebs such as Bristol Palin, Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino, David Hasselhoff, Michael Bolton, Brandy, Jennifer Grey, former NBA player Rick Fox, Margaret Cho, Florence Henderson, former NFL quarterback Kurt Warner, Audrina Patridge and Kyle Massey.

Wow. Anyway, as exciting as that news is, The Live Feed has some news that is even better: the stars who turned down Dancing with the Stars. The smart ones who passed on the show are an equally-random group of folks such as Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, Sylvester Stallone, political maven Ann Coulter, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, the real Erin Brockovich, Richard Branson, Tim Allen and Suzanne Somers.

I find it hilarious that people like Erin Brockovich and Suzanne Somers have better things to do than be on Dancing with the Stars but David Hasselhoff and Margaret Cho don't. This show is filled with such a bizarre mix of D-list celebs that it feels like a 21st Century version of The Hollywood Squares. I'll take Bristol Palin to block...

A Collection of Business Cards From Movie and TV Companies - via Vulture

This is pretty damn awesome. Vulture discovered a new poster from Fro Design Company which features 21 business cards from fictional companies seen in movies and TV shows. There's Dharma from Lost, Sterling Cooper from Mad Men, Veidt Industries from Watchmen and the best one, Initech from Office Space. "Barry Manilow People Person." Awesome. Take a look at all of these fantastic business cards below:

What's surprising is that American Psycho wasn't included here, with all the attention they pay to business cards in the movie. If you're interested in buying this poster from Fro Design Company for $25, you can CLICK HERE.

Well, that's about all I have for this week's edition of the Sunday Funnies. If you have any suggestions of articles/crazy stuff you'd like to see made fun of on future installments of Sunday Funnies, you can post on my wall here at MovieWeb: movieweb.com/u/gallagher OR follow me on Twitter @GallagherMW to send me funny links or chat about movies or whatever strikes your fancy. Peace in. Gallagher out!